Talk about exhaustion - its a tough job growing a human! When they say baby takes what baby needs, they aren't exaggerating. Right now, Kiersten is feeling the full force of fatigue associated with this time in pregnancy. Baby is growing along as expected, now with lungs capable of inhaling and exhaling and a brain ready for some complex thought. Kiersten had a visit with the midwives on Friday, confirming that baby is measuring appropriately and all is well. Next week brings the dreaded glucose test....not looking forward to a nasty sugar drink and blood draw!
Kiersten was fortunate to be connected with a due date group on Facebook where she can share our journey with other Catholic women across the continent. This group has been a phenomenal resource as we navigate new symptoms, challenges and joys. Its been so reaffirming to experience such solidarity and community. Each week, the participants share photos for "Tummy Tuesday" as a reminder to document the growth journey. We are quite grateful for this opportunity, since its the primary reason we have remembered to take a bump photo each week!
This week, we quickly snapped a photo before she headed into the office, and she didn't get a chance to critique much before heading out the door. When she finally found a break to add her photo to the montage, she slowed down to review the snapshot in front of her.
From the mind of Mom:"This photo feels harshly accurate of how I feel, inside. I see tired eyes, indicative of the fatigue I'm fighting every day. I see a half-hearted smile, which makes me feel sad, because when the photo was taken, I genuinely thought I was all-in. And I see the weight...the weight that has been stacking up since my first OB visit. They say its normal to gain weight during pregnancy. Indeed, the baby themselves come out in the 5-10 lb range, but women also collect extra pounds from fluid retention, hormone variations and inevitable changes to diet and exercise during pregnancy. Whether we want to admit it or not, women receive messages every day about the way they are supposed to look and very little of them align with the realities of the pregnant body. We cannot have a flat tummy and a baby bump, for example. The two things are inherently contradictory. And the hour glass figure our fashion designers all attempt to have us emulate is literally not possible with a human growing inside of you. I can't help feeling less...less beautiful, less attractive, less bubbly, all the while my body continues to become more...more pounds, more inches, more rolls. This is one of the few moments when I'm grateful that everyone is supposed to stay at home - so I can't be seen...seen and judged. I'm supposed to be glowing and happy, but right now, I just feel large and tired."
Indeed, it has been somewhat of a welcome relief to have avoided the judgment that parents endure, as a result of the pandemic we're living through. As we brace ourselves for the things that will be said, to our faces and behind closed doors, we pray for the strength to carry on the best way we know how. Parents face some of the harshest criticism out there. Its truly phenomenal that it begins even while the child still develops in the womb. Pregnant mothers are questioned for what they choose to eat. Expecting fathers are criticized for what they say or don't say. First time parents are offered "advice" that often falls painfully on sensitive ears.
"Are you really going to eat that?"
"Do you actually think that's the best idea?"
"Is that really a safe choice?"
"Have you considered what's really in the best interest of your baby?"
You won't be surprised to find that in the 24 hours following Kiersten's Tummy Tuesday reflection, she received a comment from a well-meaning coworker - "You are getting so BIG!" Honestly, we know people mean well, but we also can't help but be hurt, sometimes. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words...they can leave a serious sting." We also know the isolation is also curbing the words of encouragement and affirmation that many loved ones would warmly offer if given the opportunity.
Since this post feels very somber, we thought it important to end on a positive note...considering our week did get better! On Thursday, the maternity clothes order finally arrived (remember the one that was supposed to come by April 11th? It finally got off the boat from China and landed in California!). Kiersten was able to try on a few items. Thankfully, the first few fit really nicely, and she's excited to have more options to wear to work. ALSO, the same website was having a sale on cloth diapers...something we don't plan to use until at least September. Considering how long the maternity wear took to arrive, we decided it would be worth the it for a great deal. It turns out that the shipping challenges were solved effectively overnight, because both packages arrived on the same day! So, now we have a boat load of adorable diapers to look forward to washing xD
One of the challenges that many pregnant face with their growing bodies is that things that once seemed easy are now seemingly impossible. This week's challenge was the important task of putting on shoes and tying their laces. After the DIY day of delays, we agreed to spend the night in Lenawee to tackle a few more projects before heading back to Ypsilanti on Saturday. So, despite swearing off lace up shoes for the foreseeable future, swapping out for a different pair wasn't exactly an option. Of course, Ben obliged his wife, graciously offering to take on the task, himself. Those of you who attended our wedding may recall the sweet sock and shoe exchange following a meaningful foot wash.
You may have thought that occasion set a sentimental foreshadowing for the loving acts of service to come. You're welcome to compare the two occasions and let us know if things rings true...Josie certainly had a few thoughts!
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